About Dr. Bear

Lived many places, love food, unable to not have a conversation, earned PhD in Philosophy.

Father’s Day

My DresserNote: this is an essay first posted for Fathers Day 2013  

My dear Meg,

I’m not sure if you remember, but a while back there was a day we had a series of conversations, in which the phrase “Because he’s a boy” kept coming up. An example I recall was you wondering why in the world anybody would try to open a banana with a 10 inch butcher knife, and me explaining “because he’s a boy” (luckily, a boy with 10 fingers, for the time being).

Boys do silly, fun and sometimes dangerous things. It is part of being a boy. It is perplexing if you have never been one, but what are you going to do?

However, at some point, being a boy should stop—well, unless you are the one boy who never grows up; Peter Pan can be grand-fathered in, I suppose. Although if he never grows up, is the word grandfather appropriate?

As I was saying, at some point, being a boy should stop—or at the very least, diminish. In the greater life-cycle of the male of the species—we will use the generic term “guy’—there should at some point be a transition from boy to man. Yet, there seems to be a marked trend at the present away from this, and towards a prolonged male adolescence. Guys who are way past the point where they should have become adults are still being boys. It has even spawned a whole movie genre which the New York Times likes to call the “Man Child.” It appears to be making Judd Apatow rich. Of course, the target audience for these movies is guys in their 20s who themselves do not want to grow up. It can even extend to middle aged men with movies like Grown Ups. I’m not entirely sure it is possible to produce a comedy in which the men are not immature.

The whole thing mystifies me.

SupermanDon’t get me wrong: I did enjoy being a boy, and was quite good at it (I have the stories, some of which you have heard, and the scars to prove it). Nevertheless, I remember looking forward to being a man. I wanted to be a man (OK, to be honest, I wanted to be a man, 36, and tenured, but that might just be me). A big part of it, though, was that my heroes were men. My movie heroes—John Wayne, Humphrey Bogart, Gregory Peck, Paul Newman, Robert Redford, etc.—were all men, even, what you might call “real men.”
Movie heroes, however, aren’t as vivid as flesh and blood heroes. My biggest reason for wanting to be a man was that the men in my life made it look so cool. My uncles were (and remain) people I wanted to be like. My grandfathers were both really great to spend time with. Watching Dad engaged in after dinner conversation with other men—Beautiful LivingFred Norris, Scott Bartchy, and the occasional passer through like Bob Wetzel or Bob Fife—was fascinating, and more entertaining than anything we boys did.
My father made being a man look brilliant and incredible.
He still does.
My goal was to be like him.
It still is.

Although being a boy was fun, I didn’t want to be a boy indefinitely.
I wanted to grow up and be a man.

I’m not sure at what point it became more appealing for guys to be boys rather than becoming men. Certainly by the time The Simpsons (which I love) came around, it was clear that it was cooler to be Bart than to be Homer (also more fun to be naughty, but that is another day’s column). But this shift is an alarming trend, and must be stopped before the entire world is populated by Adam Sandler wannabes.
Now, it won’t do for me to just say: Hey! Grow up! I should give some reasons why to be a man.

First (and this is a universal guy reason for doing things): It is attractive.
Although there is something charming about a man who can be a boy, there is nothing at all appealing about a 200 pound little boy.
If they are trying to impress someone, especially if they are hoping for any kind of relationship, maturity is a real draw and immaturity is a real turn-off, don’t you think? And you, Meg, might be the kind of person a guy might want to impress.
Related to this, by the way, a suit and a tie are much sexier than a ratty sweatshirt, baggy shorts, and a backwards baseball cap.
Also more appropriate for church, the theatre, or a date.
Don’t get me started on Man-Child wardrobes, but do let me warm the guys who are reading this to take off your hat in the Bistro; Wode Toad has a really long tongue.

Secondly: Responsibility.
Yes, I know that this is a scary word, and it is probably why these boys are avoiding growing up in the first place, but think about it: responsibility is a part of freedom. It is the price one pays for getting out of footed pajamas and the high chair and joining the adult world. As an analogy, getting a car means having a lot of freedom to go places, but it also means suddenly have a lot of responsibilities which keep it running. Being a grown-up is similar; it gives you new freedoms to go places, but it has its costs.
Being a man means taking responsibility for yourself and for others; it’s what men do. This may seem rather dull at the least and terrifying at the worst, but it has its perks.

Third: Fun.Dad and Bitsy
Again, these boys probably are avoiding growing up because it doesn’t seem to be fun, but one can be a man and still be as playful as when one was a boy.
My father can be a very dignified gentleman. He also once spent a half an hour on his hands and knees in the kitchen entertaining a 2 year old by making zucchini and summer squash dance and run around.
My uncle Dale is quite manly—even to the point of flying planes and working lumber in the Northwest—but is also sillier than any giggling little boy I know. He is also a world-class imaginary jacks player (personally, imaginary table tennis is more my style, mostly because it is noisier). Certainly he has more fun than most of the knuckle dragging college boys I see mumbling through the streets, slouching towards Numan’s Cafe & Sports Bar. Read Brandon’s articles on playfulness–he is more fun because he is responsible for the girls, not less.
Men still play basketball, still yell at games, still play games, go on road trips (my Dad circumnavigates the globe, your dad flies his own plane), camp, kayak—you name it.

Finally, and most importantly for me: Pride.
grow some miniThis is why I would not be able to abide being a permanent boy. Whenever I see one of these immature guys, I want to yell: where is your pride, man? It’s humiliating! To be a man is to take responsibility for who you are and what you do and to be able to look upon both of those and take pride in them. It is taking responsibility for others that you care about, or for commitments you have made, and taking pride in them. What does the overgrown boy have to take pride in? High Scores on their games? Their Graphic Novel collection? OK, that’s not so bad, but remember: by playing and by reading one is pretending to be somebody one can take pride in; by being a man they could actually be that person.

I don’t accept that boys will be boys; boys are meant to become men.
Take pride in yourself and grow up. Be a Man!

So, that is why one should be a man, but the bigger question, is: How does one go about being a man?
Of course, it goes without saying that mistreating women is cowardly and un-manly, and that being a man of quality also means treating children and animals kindly, but there are so many other practices involved in being a man…

Please greet Richard from me, Meg, and wish him a Happy Father’s Day.
For the rest of you: a home cooked meal is the best thing for Dad (well, second to sailing), but if that doesn’t seem practical, remember that a hand-written note is always appropriate, if not that—would it kill you to call?

If nothing else, feel free to bring the great man to Dr.Bear’’s Philosophy Bistro.315signature

& Love

Image

My life here isn’t limited to our little farm, but it is centered there. I moved here permanently because I thought it was a place and a group of people that were a home for me. Even though that is not always easy, it is always true.

The differences in what we eat don’t seem like they would be that much of a big deal, but these differences can be challenging. I guess it’s easiest for those of us who are omnivores and just eat what we want to eat– what seems “normal” –and what the other’s eat can be mystifying, and even annoying. When planning a potluck, it really would be easiest if we just all ate in the same way, but we don’t. So I try to come up with vegan and gluten-free things to offer the folks I love. One example was today’s recipe.

Although it was a very hard path for me to follow, I do have a deep respect for vegans. I am an ethicist, and it is an ethical choice. It is a higher standard that I admire, but which I am not capable of imitating. I can try, in my way, to lessen the harm I do to my fellow creatures, to care for my chickens even though I take their eggs, and to try to follow practices which reduce the gratuitous pain cause by the industrial meat industry, but I am a sinner. For health reasons, it is difficult for me to live on a reduced diet, but even more than that, because of my own weaknesses I cannot give up meat.

My vegan friends are incredibly open and accepting of me even though I do this. I can still share food around the table with my vegan friends, and wouldn’t ever want to give that up.

Although I don’t understand it, I love lots of people who cannot eat gluten. I love people who are so sensitive that they become very sick when they are around gluten or eat things that have been prepared near gluten. I love people who’s guts become uncomfortable when they eat gluten, and pretty rough if they eat a lot of it. Whatever diet or life style choices they have made before, the fact remains that I can not reasonably expect them to only eat what seems “normal” to me. How could I expect them to be in pain just to conform to what seems most comfortable to me?

Loving mean trying to understand what hurts other people and to try to avoid anything that might hurt them. How could I ever give up sharing food around the table with these friends?

You see, for me, eating together is the perfect symbol of love. Eating together nourishes and encourages communication. It equalizes. It is shared. My parents taught us love in many ways, but one of these was supper. To prepare food with your hands and share it around the table was an act of love; it was what made a home a home. To share food in your home was about allowing your family and friends and even strangers to become part of your home. To come into somebody else’s house and share their food was to become part of their home.

I don’t understand love completely, except that I know that I have been loved. When I was a young stranger just moved to Nashville, with the scars of my kidney surgery still fresh, I was taken in and fed by friends. Several of them that stand out to me were lesbians who seemed much wiser and older than I was, but who fed me and took care of me even though they had no obvious reason to care about a white cis straight boy. I really did not understand what made them love, but I accepted the love they gave to me. In the years since then, hundreds of doors have opened to me and hundreds of tables have welcomed me, and at the same time I have shared my cooking with hundreds of people, even people I have never met. When I taught philosophy, I shared my food and my home with my students, because so much of what I wanted to teach them could be shown around a table of food. That is how my parents taught me to love and to be loved. I was loved unconditionally by my parents, and in turn love my daughter unconditionally. When she was growing up, I tried to teach her as much as I could about love and food. We often had guests and were guests. I taught her how to cook and how to welcome folks to her table.

I can’t expect them all to love just in the way that seems “normal” to me. I can’t expect to give up what seems right to them, or what is obviously healthy for them, or expect them to love or to give up love in ways that would hurt them. I can’t expect people I love to pretend to be someone or something they aren’t just to make my life less awkward. How could I give up sharing food or tables or homes or work or beds with these friends?

Peace & Muffins

It’s been a while.

I’m still living and working on a beautiful apple farm in the Finger Lakes of New York, still cooking and still trying to become wiser.

Our tribe here includes omnivores, but also a lot of vegans and paleo. In addition to this, we also have a lot of friends who have gluten allergies, a disturbing trend of this decade which I don’t understand, but which I know is real. Cooking for all of these people I love very dearly can be a challenge, but since food is something that can bring us together, I have to try.

This is an adaptation of an old recipe (http://www.philosophybistro.com/pumpkin-carrot-beet-muffins/)to make it vegan and gluten-free. I field-tested it at an amazing house party and with our barn crew, so I’m pretty confident.

Ingredients:

  • ½ pound shredded beets (or carrots & beets mixed) I have a scale, but you can also sort of figure out half of a 1 lb. bag of carrots
  • ½ cup almond flour
  • 2 cups gluten free flour (if you are using straight up gluten free, you might need to add some xanthan gum)
  • 1/3 cup of sugar or a paleo sugar substitute
  • 1 Tbsp baking soda
  • 2 tsp. cinnamon
  • ½ tsp mace (this gives it a little bite, but can be left out or replaced with ginger)
  • ½ tsp salt
  • ½ cup brown sugar or dark substitute
  • ½ cup raisins (Golden raisins are better)
  • 1 cup walnuts
  • ½ cup pumpkin seeds
  • 2 cup pumpkin
  • ½ cup oil (it might work without this, I liked making it with coconut oil.)
  • 2 tsp. vanilla
  • ½ cup orange or tart cherry juice
  • 3 Tbsp ground flax-seed
  • ½ cup liquid
  • Note: Fleggs if Paleo (flax eggs made with 1 Tbs finely ground flax-seed to 3 Tbs hot water) or super-fleggs (flax eggs made with 1 Tbs finely ground flax-seed to 3 Tbs hot aqua faba or chickpeas brine)

Step 1, Prepare Ye the way: Preheat the oven to 350°. Either grease the muffin tins or put in the cupcake liners (I usually spray a little canola oil in the bottom of these to make things come out easier). I get 2 dozen medium sized muffins out of this mix.

Step 2, sifting the dry ingredients: In one bowl crumble up the brown sugar, then sift (mix if you don’t have a sifter) in 2 cups flour, the other sugar, baking soda, cinnamon, mace, and salt. Mix thoroughly.

Step 3, making the “fleggs”: in a small bowl or cup, mix the flax seed with the liquid– aqua faba or water– and allow it to soak. after about 5 minutes, it should have a similar slimy consistency to eggs. I would whisk it before adding it to the mixture.

Step 4, shred the veggies & mix: Shred or grate the beets and/or carrots, and add the ½ cup almond flour to keep them from sticking together. Mix the shredded root vegetables, raisins, walnuts, pumpkin, juice (this needs some acidity for the baking soda), oil, vanilla, and fleggs.

Step 5, combining the wet and the dry: Add the dry ingredients to the wet ones and mix well.  The consistency should be much firmer than batter, but a little more liquid than cookie dough. You can bake down a fresh pumpkin, but canned pumpkin is easier.

Step 6, baking: Fill two dozen or so muffin tins. Bake at 350 degrees for 30 or more minutes. See how they look. Stick a toothpick in one and see if it comes out battery.

Enjoy! These are perfect breakfast, for late-night munchies, for bringing to pass at house parties, for supporting apple tree grafters, for taking along in your pockets as you go couch surfing, for sneaking vegetables into people’s diets, however you choose.

Happy Defenestration Day!

What should I cook to celebrate?

On this date in 1618, a meeting of the Bohemian Estates (their representative body, and largely Protestant) in Prague, responded to envoys from the Catholic Hapsburg,s who were their rulers, by throwing two of them out the window. Even though it was a 20 meter drop (70 feet or so), they survived; some say it was divine intervention, Some say it was a very deep dung pile; maybe both or neither. They did much better than the seven thrown out the window in the first defenestration of Prague by rebellious Hussites on the 30th of July 1419: they all perished.

This event marks the beginning of the 30 Years War, a brutal religious conflict that laid huge portions of Central Europe to waste, resulted in seven and a half-isa million deaths, famine, and set back the development of German and Central European culture a century or more.
It did however produce Descartes’ Meditations, so I guess things even out.

Almond Apple Torte

Dr. Bear - tinyeditor’s note: The staff of the Bistro has moved to an orchard and nursery in the Finger Lakes of New York. I first made this recipe for a wonderful Easter dinner, but because of how our little farm is, I had to try to come up with something that could be eaten by Vegans or folks on a Paleo diet, and which would still be good enough to steal.
This recipe is animal free, gluten-free, low sugar, alcohol free.

Almond Apple Torte

AlmondAppleTorte_165107Ingredients:

1 pound almond flour (3 1/2? 4ish cups?)
1/2 cup sliced almond
3 medium sized apples
2 cups water
3 Tbs coconut oil
3 Tbs and a little more maple syrup
2 Tbs rose-water
1  tsp.  baking powder
dash lemon
dash ground cinnamon
Berries or some other fresh fruit (or more apples)

Step 1, mixing the frangipany-ish filling: in a medium saucepanAlmondAppleTorte_132044 (leave room for whisking or fluffiness), heat the water. Add the syrup and the rosewater and dissolve, then gradually add the almond flour, whisking constantly so that it doesn’t clump. Cover the mixture and let it sit for a while so that the almond absorbs the moisture.

AlmondAppleTorte_132038Step 2, Prepare ye the pan: pre-heat the oven to 350, grease the pan & flour it with almond flour; I used a 9 by 3 springform pan, which makes the cake easiest to remove.  Also sprinkle the bottom of the pan generously with thin almond slices.


AlmondAppleTorte_132028Step 3, a golden lining:
peel and slice the apples into thin slices. Toss them iAlmondAppleTorte_133811n a little bit of maple syrup, cinnamon and lemon juice, and layer the slices on the bottom and sides of the cake pan. Strangely enough, this is a pie where the apples are the crust, and the dough is the filling. Go figure.

Step 4, whip it up: either with the whisk, or with a mixer, add the coconut oil, some lemon juice, and the baking soda to the almond AlmondAppleTorte_134430filling mixture and whip it a bit to get some air in it.

Step 5, putting it in the pan/pans: gently fill the pan with the almond mixture and smooth it down. An option at this point would also be having more apple slices and arranging them on the top of the torte.

Step 6, pop it in the oven for baby & me: bake the pans at 350 for AlmondAppleTorte_14271135 minutes or so, until it doesn’t behave like a liquid. It should be a light brown. It will puff up, and then settle. Take it out and set a wire rack to cool.

Step 7, decorating and serving: it is tasty by itself. I put berries on the top, partly for the variety of color, partly for the variety of flavor. a whipped topping, a glaze, or a compote of some sort would be possible, as would some sort of frozen desert.
AlmondAppleTorte_184736Enjoy!

if it wasn’t for love

black-and-white-and-cokeI look in the mirror, when I have one.
When the light is harsh, I see that my face is lined; the lines are now so deep, so permanent, that I can feel them when I run my hand across my cheek.
The lines are from laughing and smiling, done so much that laughter has cut grooves across my face.

The rest of my body,
especially where the kidneys were or are or where dialysis chopped my veins or bones were crushed and broken,
is crossed with scars.
Each is a wound that would have killed me, or a crack that would have split me apart,
if it wasn’t for love.

The scars are all places where the love or the kindness or the willingness to act
that so many have shown me
have held me together,
have healed me.

Time has marked my body with laughter and with love.

It could be worse.

Cherry Almond Bread

Cherry Bread with PB“Some look at the world as it is, 
and they ask: ‘Why?’
I look at the world,
and I ask: ‘Wouldn’t it be great to have a dark chocolate and peanut butter sandwich on cherry bread?
I wonder how you make cherry bread?'”

(This is a variation of my Cherry Pistachio Bread)

Ingredients:

  • 1 1/2 cups warm water
  • 1 cup warm milk
  • 1/2 cup Almond Meal (optional)
  • 6-7 cups, give or take, of whole wheat (3 cups) and bread flour (4+ cups)
  • 1 Tbsp. Jam (preferably cherry, but today I used apricot)
  • 1 1/2 Tbsp. Yeast (maybe 3 envelopes?)
  • 1 Tbsp. Salt
  • 1 Tbsp. Almond flavour
  • 3/4 cup Dried Cherries
  • 1 cup Chopped Almonds
  • 1 Egg (you need the white)

Step 1, Wet Stuff: In a large bowl (or the mixer bowl if you plan on letting the bread hook to the heavy lifting); whisk the Jam into the warm Milk and the first half cup of warm Water. Add the dried Cherries, and set to the side.

Step 2, meanwhile, back at the yeast: in a smaller container, whisk together the remaining cup of warm Water, the Yeast, and just a smidge of the Jam. Let this sit for a few minutes (listen to a pop-song, gather the flour, begin to chop the almonds whatever you fancy), and let it start to bubble.

Step 3, mixing and proofing: Whisk the yeast micherrypistachio 001xture into the milk mixture. Next, add in the first 2 cups of flour a little bit at a time, whisking until it is smooth–I usually move from the coarsest flour to the smoothest, so the wheat flour here. Now leave this in a warm place for 5 minutes and walk away. Fold laundry, try to figure out where you put the bread flour, dance, just leave the yeast alone.

Step 4, kneading: Come back, Little Sheba. If it is bigger, and a little poofy, the yeast is doing great. If not, either you have bad yeast or a cold spot. Whisk down this living thing in the bowl, and add 1 Tbsp of Salt & 1 Tbsp Almond Flavor. Add in the Bread Flour 1/4 of a cup at a time, and thoroughly mix it in; when the whisk becomes impractical, use a big wooden spoon, when this is too hard, use a mixer with a bread hook or turn it our onto a floured surface.
It is important to knead the flour in 1/4 of a cup at a time, and after each bit of flour, hook or knead the bread until it becomes one thing again–not a mixture of flour and dough, but one unit. When the dough is a single round thing holding on to itself and not sticking to other things, behaving about like a deflated volley ball, it is ready. The amount of the flour doesn’t matter–getting it to this proper consistency is what matters. Roll it around on the counter for good measure.cherrypistachio 006

Step 5, let it rise: Grease a smooth bowl 3 times as big as the dough. Roll the dough ball in the oil, and then cover with plastic wrap or a wet towel or something that will let it work without drying out. Let this sit in a warm place–in the oven with a heating pad on a different shelf, on the sunny side of the house, just a safe and warm place–until the dough has doubled in size. Usually, this will be about an hour.

Step 6, making loaves: Turn the dough out onto a clean cherrypistachio 007surface, and punch it down (forcefully knead it), which should reduce it to close to its original size. Separate this into 2 portions (or 3 or 4 or… you figure it out). Flatten each of these, and sprinkle with the first 3/4 cup of Almonds. Fold the dough back into itself, knead it slightly and shape each into loaves; make sure that there are not seams or spots the loaf might separate, maybe pinching loose edges and rolling it about a bit–each should be smooth and coherent–it’s own little self.

Step 7, second rising: Grease some baking sheets and sprinkle with corn meal, or grease 3 bread pans, or 2 bread pans and 2 little pans, or some such combinations. Put each loaf into a pan, slit along the top with a sharp knife (this lets bubbles out) and set these into a warm place until they have grown–usually less that the first rise. About half way through this rise (20? 25 minutes?) pre-heat the oven to 400 degrees.

Step 8, prepping and baking: Beat together an Egg White and a little cold water. Paint the tops of the loaves with the egg white mixture, and then sprinkle with the remaining Almonds. Put the bread in the oven for 30 or 35 minutes, until the top crust is a nice dark brown. Figure out your oven, and see if you need to turn them orcherrypistachio 020 rotate them to get them to cook evenly.

Step 9, cool it, boy: When they are done, get them out, take them off the sheets or out of the pans, and put them on a cooling rack.

Last Step, sharing: You may have noticed I made several loaves. You can, of course, use division and figure out how to make a smaller batch, but I suggest you make more, and then figure out why you needed more. The bread might be so good that one loaf is eaten before it even cools. Break out the Brown Betty; it is perfect with some butter and a cup of tea.
Most importantly, if you have extra bread, you will have to give it away. Make a present of it and Brie to an aspiring writer and cabaret star on his 30th birthday. cherrypistachio 023Give it to friends for Christmas, a House Warming or just because. As always, give it to a wandering through-hiker, a musician or a college student–all of these are good karma. You might give some to somebody you love, or whom you wish to love, or who needs to feel loved.
My mom says it is just as easy to pray for somebody while kneading bread as it is just to pray for somebody; I don’t understand prayer, but I know everybody needs to feel loved and everybody loves good bread.

Bonus Step, left-overs: It makes brilliant toast, of course. It also makes excellent French toast, bien sûr, if you like that sort of thing.

Seitanic Majesty

This has been a long term experiment that started back sometime in June. Although the Seitan StewSauerbraten in June was good, it wasn’t great, and I went back to the drawing board. Several of the attempts were positively awful, but at last, this week, I had a batch I was fairly happy with and I ran it past my quality control friends (thanks, Meg & Rachel), who also seemed to approve.
The earliest ve3rsions of this recipe were appropriated from the Post-Punk Kitchen (http://www.theppk.com/2009/11/homemade-seitan/), which also has a new cookbook out. It took some tweaking to make it my own.

Ingredients:

  • 1 cup wheat gluten (available in boxes, but try to get it bulk; it’s cheaper)
  • 3 Tbsps. nutritional (brewers) yeast
  • 1/2 cup cold vegetable broth (or fake chicken broth or fake beef broth)
  • 1/4 cup soy sauce
  • 2 tablespoons fresh lemon juice
  • 1 tablespoon olive oil
  • 2 cloves garlic

For the simmering broth: 
4 cups vegetable broth
4 cups water
1/4 cup soy sauce

Fill a stock pot with the water, broth and soy sauce, cover and bring to a boil.

In the mean time, in a large bowl mix together gluten and yeast.  In a smaller bowl mix together broth, soy sauce, lemon juice, olive oil and garlic. Pour the wet into the dry and combine with a wooden spoon until most of the moisture has absorbed and partially clumped up with the dry ingredients. Use your hands and knead for about 3 minutes, until it’s an elastic dough. Divide into 3 equal pieces with a knife and then knead those pieces in your hand just to stretch them out a bit. Let rest until the broth has come to a full boil.

Once boiling, lower the heat to a simmer. Add the gluten pieces and partially cover pot so that steam can escape. Let simmer for 45 minutes, turning occasionally. Turn the heat off and take the lid off, let sit for 15 minutes.

Remove from broth and place in a strainer until it is cool enough to handle. Wrap it in a clean cloth (it will get stained)  and wring out as much of the excess moisture as you can.

Store in refrigerator until needed.

Slice and use as desired.

 

 

That’s all folks